On Support

“Are you okay?”

With a smile, you say, “I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?”

This time, with a nod and a wider smile, you say, “Yeah, sure.”

Thankfully, they usually give up after that. You feel grateful that they ask. You do. It’s just that you feel the need to cut off the conversation right then and there. Not because you don’t trust the person. Not because you don’t want to share. It’s just that you couldn’t muster enough energy to put into words the things going on in your mind. Because before you even attempt to do so, your brain already shuts down and decides to just go for the simple answer:

“I’m okay.”

But the lesson here, really, is for the asker. Don’t feel sad if your friend brushes you off with an ‘I’m okay’. Most likely, it’s not you. They are probably also tired and talking to people is not how they cope. That doesn’t mean you give up checking up on them, or letting them know you’re there for them if they need a wall to talk to.

That’s what friendship is. Listening to all those ‘I’m okay’s and just being there till they decide to say, ‘I’m not okay but I don’t want to talk about it.’ And you wait patiently again, until they finally say, ‘Okay, let’s talk.’ You may never get to the ‘let’s talk’ part but what matters is that you’re looking out for your ‘strong’ friends.

Baby steps. But a step, no matter how small, is a step nevertheless.